Rickie-Lee.com
Title
RICKIE LEE's.com - HOME
Description
I learned that facing who & what I am at an early age is pretty difficult but making the decision to BE who & what I AM was the most difficult thing I had ever done. I knew all my life that I was 'different' than the other little girls. I liked doing all the 'boy' stuff. My playmates were all boys. I never got in to that 'play with the dollies' & doing the 'dress-up like mommy' thing. The only thing holding me back when I was a youngster was that I simply never could put a name to the things I was feeling & I didn't know of any other person having those same feelings. Not until I learned what a 'queer' was. I had heard the word once in school after we moved from Upstate New York to Joisey (NJ) & asked my father what it meant. He got all flustered and told me that I should never say that word. Well, okay ...... then it's a 'bad' word. I learned all too soon what 'queer' was & when I did, I knew it described me to a tee except I wasn't a boy liking other boys.... I was a girl liking other girls. The subject was never talked about much back then. I wasn't able to ask anyone all the questions I had been wondering about. I didn't even know anything about human sex. Hell I was only about 7 yr. old!!! Even then, at such a young age, I knew I wanted to be the 'daddy' in MY family!!!! Oh, then came the word 'fag'. Those who hated people like that would really emphasized that word with such distaste (no pun intended) in their voices & such angry expressions on their faces. But that was directed to B-O-Y-S!! I wanted to know what " I " was!!!
When I got a little older I heard a word ....... lesbian. I knew from the conversation what it pertained to. Geee, that's IT!!!!!! I MUST be a lesbian!!!! "Hello, I'm Rickie Lee & I'm a L-E-S-B-I-A-N!!!" Oh how I wanted to yell it out to everyone ......... I FINALLY had a 'name' for MEEEEEEEEE!!!! I ached to be able to speak to others about MY daydreams concerning the female teacher, or the young gal at the soda shop or the new girl at our school ..... but I knew better. Each time I heard the word 'queer', 'fag' or 'lesbian' it was of a negative nature. I heard the repulsion in the voices & heard the teasing the other kids would do to each other & for that reason I kept my mouth shut and my feelings deep inside.
Oh I had crushes on so many gals in my young life. I say here again that I wasn't aware of anything 'sexual' among humans. I merely wanted to hold their hands, kiss them on their cheek (the ones on either side of the nose, mind you .... *S*), take walks with them & sit under a tree with my arms around them. Oh what crushes they were ...... and ohhhh so many of them too.
Languages
English
Contact
- None at this time
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- Zephyrhills FL
- United States 33540-2150
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