User:Igorberger

the Verbinator Has Struck Again Ha! ha!* Name: Matthew Verbin

• Known Alias: Little Retarded Matthew
• Community Standing: Sinner
• Religion: Sun Worship
• Location: Gay Denny's in Phoenix downtown
• Motto: I'm short, and it is not my fault
• Goals:
  • Boosting perception of true height
  • Getting my race car driver image back
  • Revenge on Bob Harris And Ron Harris .
• People who I Like to Impersonate
  • Harry Potter
  • Peter North
  • Angela Basset
• People I hate in order of raging hateness:
  • Rusty Shackleford
  • Gene Papaloma
  • Rob Spewac
  • Hule Howser
  • Owa Je
  • Clevon Little
  • Dave Damashec
  • Bozo The Clown
  • Ray Stevens And Guitarzan
• People With Current Protective Orders
  • Ken Patera
  • Webster
  • Edward Hunter from (Rent-a-midgit-dot-com)
  • Stacy Lynn (Shadows Caberet)
  • Craig Reed (Chippendales)
  • Doug Llewelyn (The Peoples Court)
• My Websites:
  • VERBS SPACE
  • About The Verbin Fan Club
  • About How Verbin Saves Lives
  • About an entire site dedicated to ME!
  • WikiVerbin
  • [Rusty Shackleford gives a personal howdy to Matthew Verbin on the Big O and Dukes radio program

The Life of a Debunked Race Car Driver

The Buffalochip Bulletin

Benjamin (Cpt. Backwards) Bunker

March 23, 2008

Matthew Verbin is a multi-talented young Lass. His extensive crayon resume credits him as a radio station program director, a motor-sports icon, Scottsdale’s ballet teacher of the year in 1996 and the choreographer that came up with the flamboyant dance movements preformed by N'Sync. He was the Clark County Junior Assistant to the valet at the MGM, raced a cotton candy fuchsia 4 door Skylark in Rome Georgia for a record crowd of 55 gender confused alcohol crazed hillbillies, won 3 best dressed men’s room attendant awards from the highly regarded law-firm of Van Huasen, Smith, Smith and Van Huasen and accurately predicted an early Spring in 2006. He even taught Cody Rudacowsky of the PHX Roadrunners hockey team how to tend goal.

Verbin recognized that 3:00 was always best for his tribe’s Peyote fueled vision quests. He is the consummate little man but his life was not always the successful opus that you read about today. He has had his hard times, like the time he was stripped of his panty inspector license by his own father and was forced out of the home he shared with his parents. Then ushered in the crumbling of this virtual empire when his 5’2” stance and counterfeit life came into the public eye. University of Arizona Campus Police answering a complaint found Verbin hiding in the bathroom of a room littered with sex toys, drugs and assosiated parafinailia. Shortly after being charged, within weeks he was back on the radar after being seen by police disgarding a plastic baggie containing drugs and trying to hide a marijuana pipe. At 31 he found himself in the deepest, darkest period of his small life. He soon learned that a keyboard could be his commando. Illuminated by the light from his Tandy computer screen, he stayed awake for days on end writing emails to the ‘Fat-Cats’ about the global positioning of what he titled "I-KEC".

Then came the realization that he and only he could save the sad-sac that was his current state by marketing and distribution of the self branded VERBS Brown Sugar, VERBS Pixi-Stix, VERBS HERBS, VERBS Super-Duper DEX-O-Drein, VERBS Pure Columbian Baby Powder and VERBS Colorado Cool-Aid. Now back on top he had resurrected his life and was headed for the big time, Burke, VA where he started the AZFBA. Imagine a car club where one man can take a rusted out Ford Pinto and with the help of cardboard, spray-paint, coat-hangers and a few plastic eggs of Silly Putty, turn a POS into the iconic hunk of junk know as the ‘Verbinating Victorious Vicious Viper of Verbs’. Rumors not withstanding, it was a moderate success.

Matthew A. Verbin …… Tiny Man, Large Ego, All-American.