Difference between revisions of "DispiracyTheory"

Conspiracy Theories suggest a group of people secretly get together to do something generally evil. At least I never heard of any Good Conspiracies.

DispiracyTheory suggests a better explanation than any conspiracy is an emergent behaviour of regular bystanding people who have no idea they're causing the phenomenon under study.

For example, the best explanation of the JFK assassination is that neither Oswald nor an organized conspiracy were responsible for JFK's death. That it was actually an accidental death.

This theory holds that Oswald was part of a hastily assembled group of CIA operatives charged with protecting JFK from would-be snipers after the president, needled by Dick Nixon's comments that Kennedy was a coward to hide from the people behind a perspex bulletproof dome, ordered the dome removed.

Oswald's orders were to station himself in the schoolbook depository and surveil the crowd for assassins. Unfortunately Oswald wasn't a great hire for a job like this and someone or someones in the crowd noticed the barrel of his rifle poking out the window.

Dallas is of course in Texas, and Texans are of course gun-crazy. So the someone or someones decided off their own bat to protect the president by shooting at the depository with a handgun. Or alternatively Oswald's hair trigger slipped.

In any case a shot rang out. Now every gun nut in the crowd watching Kennedy who heard this shot immediately pulled their piece. Some of them noticed the others and naturally assumed they were assassins, and some percentage of them aimed and fired.

But paniced people shooting revolvers very seldom hit what they aim at, and so within seconds a cloud of randomly targeted shots and ricochets engulfed Kennedy's car. This accounts for the more than 9 bullets, some of them having hit nothing at all, dug out of the dirt and masonry and so on all around the plaza.

And of course there's goofy old JFK sitting and waving right in the middle of this cloud. The wonder isn't that he was assassinated. It's that Jackie and the rest weren't instantly turned to hamburger.

This is the terrible secret that the US government can never reveal: that JFK was killed by none other that the paranoid American people, acting inevitably as Americans must in defence of their country and their president.

So sad.

Everyone immediately jumped to conclusions, including Oswald, who figured he was being set up by a shadowy conspiracy. Acting like a paranoid idiot he fled to a cinema and shot the first cop he saw.

The only other creature in this story is Jack Ruby, whom the consiracy theories say knew Oswald through some shadowy Nixon/GHWB black-bag connection. More nonsense. No question Ruby shot Oswald. But what's generally forgotten is, after he did so, the entire crowd in and around the police station where Oswald was killed burst into applause. Again, a crowd of Texans are going to be carrying. Ruby was just well enough connected to be the first gun nut to get close to Oswald coming out, the first to get a chance to shoot him. So Oswald was a victim of the dispiracy too ...