ItsBetterTinnedThanFresh.co.uk
Title
It's Better Tinned Than Fresh
Description
Shaun Garrod (featured, left) was born at the age of seven inside one of the cooling towers of Ratcliff on Soar power station. He spent a further seventeen years studying hard for A levels and eventually earned his degree in charcoal manufacture. Upon returning from university Shaun moved house to the outskirts of London where he bought a disused well with attached bucket and rope. He lived here for two years but had to move because of subsidence. He then moved back to the Midlands and got a job as a professional stunt man. During his fifteen years of stunt work, Shaun also continued hard with his hobby of experimenting and amazingly he invented tobacco and alcohol. It was after these inventions that he turned down the offers of marriage from Xena, Warrior Princess and that bird out of Jurassic Park. It was just after these offers that Shaun left the stunt world and settled down in his 6.3 million pound mansion for five years in order for him to write.
His time at home proved fruitful; not only did he write all of the James Bond and Carry On films but he wrote the novel War and Peace and translated it into over six hundred different languages. It was this work that brought added fortune to his already massive personal wealth. Unfortunately though, with the wealth came the women. To date Shaun has had sex with well over nineteen thousand women. Alas, it was his 'love for the ladies' that caused him to be declared bankrupt in the late 1960's. Living in poverty for a good few years, little did Shaun know that his fortune was about to change for the better...
It had just turned 1972 and Shaun, drowning his sorrows in a London bar, bumped into astronaut Buzz Aldrin. They got chatting and they got on well. That was the last Shaun heard from Buzz. However, six months later a letter arrived through the post. It was an invitation to join one of the manned Lunar missions! Shaun couldn't believe his luck! He left Earth on November 6th, 1973 and was on the Moon in time for lunch. He returned home the following day. It was these Lunar landings that refound his fame and fortune. With a vigour that he had not felt since the early '60's, Shaun began to write again.
