SevenOhFive.com
Title
S E V E N O H F I V E -- The Official Website
Description
RIGHT: SEVEN OH FIVE is a small independent film crew owed and operated by chimpanzees. We chimpanzees have written, directed, and produced all the films featured on this site. We are a small group of Uganda Apes that are destined to work our magic amongst the silly humans. They are so easily entertained. By using ancient ape mind-control techniques we have been fortunate to utilize the acting talents (if you could even call in that) of three individuals. Through our human counterparts we can entertain the world in a way never thought imaginable by our jungle brethren. We would act ourselves, but we have not yet mastered this strange human trait called "speech".
LEFT: We see lead editor Thelonius busy at work editing Seven Oh Five's latest creation - Going Bananas! Not only do we own these three misfit actors (Roman, Chito, Tracy) but we also own some of the most high-tech supercomputers available. Our computation machines have blazin' speeds that clock in at almost .0002mHz and have maximum hard drive capacity totaling up to a whopping 4.2k! With our network of said supercomputers we intend to take on the entertainment industry by storm. Not literally, of course, because then we'd be all wet from the rain, sleet and snow. By "storm" I mean "with a vengeance!" Like in Chuck Norris' karate classic Missing in Action IV - With a Vengeance! That was a great movie! Long live Grandmaster Norris!
RIGHT: We see senior director Apollo in deep thought. He's currently on contract as director of the new Seven Oh Five comedy smash-hit Going Bananas! Apollo has a long list of credits to his name. He's directed all of Seven Oh Five's greatest hits, which include - Big Bowellers, Cop Block, Space Time Destroyers, Sack to the Future and Skid Marks. He didn't direct those pieces-of-crap movies which were Trolls, Poochie the Cat or even the ill-fated piece-of-poop Killer Cart. Those movies would have turned out a gazillion times better if a blind-folded hippopotamus directed them. They are very clever animals, ya know? Not as clever as us Apes, but still clever, nonetheless. Director Apollo has dedicated his life to the art of motion picture making. With his natural monkey-given talents he plans to rid the world of horrible melodramatic movies and instead fill the world with movies about bigger-than-life man-eating bananas!
Languages
English
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